Thursday, 28 November 2013

Thank you, body!

Some weeks ago I had a regular check-up at the gynaecologist. He saw something unusual on the ultrasonic scan and requested me to come back again this week to see whether or not I would need to have surgery.

Since then I have really been worried. First of all because of the possibility to need surgery because that would just suck.

But I was even more worried about what would happen to Sunny while I would be in the hospital. We have never been separated for more than a few hours and recently one night. He is very fixated upon me because I have been the main carer for him since he was born. My husband works long hours and is frequently away for business so Sunny is just used to the fact that I am always around. He already had a hard time when I was away for one night some weeks ago. So I was worried how he would handle it if I had to go to the hospital for several days.

I have been consumed with many bad thoughts with regard to my health for quite a while now. I started to worry about what would happen if I had a fatal disease. I know, but I just cannot stop it. I am really worried something will happen to me and that I will not be able to be there for my child in the future. Of course I am also worried that something bad will happen to Sunny or my husband.

How do you stop these thoughts? At some point when my chest tightens and anxiety tries to take over I just have to tell myself that I need to stop worrying and pondering about these things STAT. But the worries return eventually.

I was so very glad and relieved today when my gynaecologist told me that I do not need surgery. It took a lot of pressure off my chest.

So tonight I want to thank my body for being so supportive and for being healthy (I hope I am not jinxing anything now! Therefore, I am knocking heavily on wood!). I will keep on doing what I can to stay healthy. I know how important it is that I stay healthy for Sunny - and for me, of course!

PS: Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates it! Enjoy yourselves and your families, indulge in good food and just be present in the moment.


  1. I'm glad that you're not going to need surgery. Health is definitely something to be thankful for! I have those thoughts sometimes as well, just trying to not indulge if those thoughts ever come up..

  2. Joy, that must've been so hard to manage! I'm hugely relieved you don't need surgery. What a huge, huge relief!

    Happy Thursday, my friend (even though it's Friday now - you know what I mean :) )

  3. I have the exact same thoughts. I believe mine is a little bit of health anxiety that I have always had but since having Ryan and a series of family health issues last year it has taken on a life of its own, Like you I also think mine is to do with my subconscious trying to prepare (hopefully unnecessarily) for what would happen if i wasnt here for Ryan. Glad you got good news from the doc.

  4. I'm so happy for you tha tyou dont'ened surgery. I do know that oen day you may not be there for your child, but it's scary to worry about this all the time. That won't help either.

  5. I'm so glad for you tha tyou don't need surgery. I realize tha tyou may one day not be there fo ryour child, but it won't help to worry about htat all the tiem. (via Love That Max)

  6. such a relief! glad to hear all is well!


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