Friday, 7 June 2013

Five Minute Friday: Fall



It is Friday which means it is time to link up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday again. 


Fall...

GO

The first time I fell was shortly after the birth of my son while we were still in the hospital. The doctors arranged for some additional tests and told us that something was "wrong" with him. The word "surgery" was uttered. That was when the ground opened up and swallowed me. I could not believe my own ears. Were they really talking about my son, this precious baby that had just made its entrance into the world? It just could not be true.

But I fell further. He had jaundice and was taken to the NICU while I was left alone in my hospital room, pumping milk for him, feeling desperate and being surrounded by happy mothers and helpless babies that were tended to the whole day. I felt like my arm had just been amputated without anaesthesia. I spend most of the time crying and those first days of his life in the hospital are nothing but blurred in my memories.

When he finally came back to our room he had problems to drink and I was so afraid to take him home because I was afaid he would starve.

I will never forget how seriously painful these first days were. And although everything eventually became better when we were home these memories are still a sting my heart, marking the beginning of a life that would make us fall over and over again.

STOP


11 comments:

  1. it is always so hard when something happens to one of our precious ones, big and small. so thankful God's grace has carried you...

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    1. Thank you Richelle, I am so glad, too!

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  2. Thanks so much for sharing this painful time. And, thanks to the good Lord above that things got better for you and your child!!

    My son also went to the NICU. I remember the pain and saying more prayers than I ever had in my life.

    Patti

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    1. Thank you so much Patti, I am so glad, too. The NICU is really hard, isn't it? Hugs!

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  3. Thanks so much for sharing this painful time. And, thankfully, things got better for you and your child.

    The evening that my son was born, he went to the NICU. I remember that time and how much I prayed. I too was very nervous about bringing him home for the first time. But, thankfully it all worked out.

    Patti

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  4. Oh my gosh, I love this. I feel your pain as if it happened this morning. You put it so well...that you were an amputee without your child. As much as we fall over and over (and over) again we also get our child to fall into our arms. xoxoxox

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    1. Aw Kerri, this went right into my heart, especially the last sentence. It holds so much truth!!! xoxoxoxo right back!!

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  5. Great post. It's a feeling that is hard to get over, when your heart falls through to your stomach.

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    1. So true indeed. Thank you so much for commenting!

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  6. Joy,
    Amazing writing. Like Kerri, I love the amputee reference. What scary scary first days those were for you. The falling part never does really get easier, though, does it?
    Love this. And YOU. Huge hugs, lovely friend.

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    1. Thanks Kristi. Yes, our first days were really that scary. I am sometimes so sad that the time that is supposed to make you the happiest mom in the world was one of the worst time of motherhood. :-(

      And you are so right on the falling part. Hugging you right back!! xoxo

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