Tuesday, 21 May 2013

When plans go awry

I had it all figured out perfectly. Today was the first day when someone of an organisation would come to our house. It is an organisation that helps people with special needs or parents of children with special needs. They organise weekends where the kids stay at their premises so that the parents can take a few days "off" or they come to the homes and watch the kids while the parents have time to do things around the house or go on a date night. Stuff like that.

After our desaster with the day nanny last month I finally decided to hire personnel specialised in kids with special needs. Our insurance company pays a certain amount of money per month for expenses like these and so far I never had the chance to claim them.

Now with Sunny being home for two weeks I called them and we agreed that a caregiver would come to our house for two mornings this week and for one morning next week. I planned to do a lot of chores while she would be here today and really looked forward to getting rid of the mess left from the prolonged weekend. She was going to be here at 9:00.

However, my perfect plan was destroyed this morning. After breakfast we went upstairs to brush our teeth. I went to the bathroom to get Sunny's toothbrush while he went into his room and started playing on his bead path. I turned around to put toothpaste on his brush (this only took me about 3 seconds where I did not pay attention to what he was doing) and all of a sudden I heard him scream, cry, writhe in pain, crawl on the floor, rub his arms. He was completely out of breath because he obviously hurt so much. I did not know what had happened. There was nothing that could have hurt him this much. I picked him up and pulled him on my lap. He was sweating because of the pain; he nearly tried to crawl inside me, moaning and whining constantly. I could see that he did not know what to do with himself or how to handle this because he obviously hurt so, so very much. Sunny has a very high threshold of pain and rarely cries or reacts in any way when he hurts himself so I knew it was very serious. I felt that he held it in and I told him that it was okay to cry if he hurt and that crying helps and then he started crying, stopping again, and then starting to cry again when I told him to let it out. I was so sorry for him.

I was not even sure what part of his body hurt because he was so disturbed and full of pain that he could not show me. He rubbed his arms and at first I thought that his right arm hurt. Then, after a few minutes where we sat there, him crying and writhing in pain and me trying to soothe him while still wondering what had happened I finally saw that his left middle finger had turned a dark red, it was heavily swollen and his whole left arm was red, too. It looked seriously bruised. At least now I knew what hurt him so much. And since the last thing I saw was how he played with his bead path I figured out that he somehow must have squashed his finger in there. I cannot even imagine how something like this can happen. He has had the bead path for at least four years now and there never was anything like that. He always played with it nicely and without any accidents. It is beyond me how this could happen. Maybe he had his hand inside and then bent it upward or something like this. I just do not know. I asked him how he had hurt himself and after a few attemps where he showed me his hand he finally pushed his hand inside the bead path to show me.

I never knew these things could hurt a child so much!
Anyway, I called his paediatrician and they told me that the hand needed to be X-rayed so I called the casualty doctor on duty and they told me to come.

On my way to the doctor I called the caregiver who was on her way and told her mailbox what had happened and asked her to call me back.

At the doctor Sunny was completely out of his mind because due to all the medical appointments and the frequent hospital stays in his life he is very scared of anything that looks like a doctor's office. He cried and screamed all the time, full of pain and panic, trying desperately to leave. The staff there was so kind and we were led to the X-ray as soon as the patient inside was finished. I had Sunny on my lap and I held his hand in order for the pictures to turn out good. Then we were led to the exam room immediately afterwards although there were so many people waiting. I am so grateful for that. The doctor looked at the pictures and checked on Sunny's hand. Luckily nothing is broken; his finger is just heavily bruised.

After the appointment we headed to the pharmacy to get the prescribed ointment for his finger and some bandages.

When I arrived home at 9:30 there was no caregiver waiting for us. Neither was there a call on my mobile phone. I asked my MIL about her and she told me that she had come and then left again when she heard what had happened. I was a bit angry because she had not called me back and so I dialled her number and asked where she was. Turns out she had not heard my message on her mailbox and, therefore, had returned to the office. I asked her to come back which she did. So instead of 9:00 she was here at 10:30. She is a very nice, elderly lady who came along with Sunny very well. He really seemed to like her almost immediately which is good and far from self-evident for him. She will come back on Thursday and I hope that morning will be boring and as normal as it can be.

Poor Sunny was totally spent when she left and after lunch he fell asleep very quickly. I hope his finger will be better soon. We plan to go to hippo therapy this afternoon if it does not rain. I really hope we can go; he deserves some cheering up today.

It is so horrible when your child hurts and you do not know where and why. That really broke my heart again this morning. It is so frustrating and always makes me feel helpless and sad.


  1. oh that's so horrible! i'm so glad nothing is broken. poot little guy! my heart goes out to you guys. glad to read in your next post that it's looking a little better today. my kids never had one of those toys, is it very heavy? i bet he had his finder under the leg and then put his weight on it, causing his little finger to be smashed between the leg and the floor. thank goodness kids are bendy! and why do these things always happen in that split second that we look away? glad to hear your caregiver is working out, too! don't think we have any insurance coverage for something like that. going to have to read about your day nanny exerperience!

    1. Thank you so much for thinking of us! Hmm, it is not THAT heavy but it could have very well have happened like you said. I will probably never know :-/

      As for the caregiver, it is not the normal insurance that covers it but a special one and you are only entitled to receive it if your kid is officially being diagnosed with a disability more or less.


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