Friday, 5 April 2013

Five Minute Friday: After

Today I'm linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday again.

What does Five Minute Friday mean? Quote from Lisa-Jo's website:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
Oh and Ahem, if you would take pity and turn off comment verification, it would make leaving some love on your post that much easier for folks!



 After...

GO

After our visit to the hospital today and the follow-up EEG I am not sure whether to be relieved or not. I mean, there are already so many roadblocks on our street that I could have totally done without another one. But the neurologist said that the prognosis was good so I am just trying to believe him.

When I had my son on my lap and the EEG started I shed hot, desperate tears while I tried to read a book to him in order to calm him down. I do not even really know why I cried. It was just that my heart felt like it was about to burst in about a million tiny pieces. All those many examinations he already had to endure in his short life, all the insecurities, the not knowing, the pressure and the strength it takes every single day just bore into my heart and left it bleeding. The technician looked at me softly without saying a word. My voice broke over and over again while I tried to read. Finally, I was able to pull myself together.

STOP


11 comments:

  1. First, I am so glad I followed you today! I am your neighbor at 5-minutes. How cosmic following one of my best blog buddies :)

    I have had to hold Boo down for multiple EEG's. I wish I could say it got easier. It doesn't. They don't understand and their tears and cries break your heart. Which breaks you so much. I am sending every positive vibe across the ocean to you.

    They tell me Boo won't remember this, like I will. It doesn't make it easier. But know that you are not alone out there. I am glad you cried, that you didn't hold it in.

    You are super warrior mom!

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    1. Oh Kerri, you always, always find the right words! I am so thankful for your beautiful comment (although it made me cry again)!

      And thank you lots and lots for your positive vibes, they reached me right now and they comfort me like the rays of the sun. It is so good to know I am not alone!

      Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!! xoxo

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  2. Stopping by from FMF... Oh, Joy, I don't know your story but the glimpse you've given me from this post just breaks my Mama's heart. I remember crying every time my daughters had to have a shot. It was like I tried to take on the pain for them so they wouldn't have to, but of course that's not possible for us. You just keep on loving that boy and God will take care of the rest. I'm praying for you today.

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  3. Stopping by from FMF... Oh, Joy, I don't know your story but the glimpse I get through this post just breaks my Mama's heart. I remember crying every time my children had to get a shot. We'd love to take on the pain for them, but that's just not possible for mere humans. You just keep loving your boy and let God take care of the rest. I'm praying for you today.

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and your wonderful comment!

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  4. Wow, what a testimony of a mom. Thank you for sharing this lovely post of your heart for your child and your pain as a mom. It can be so hard, but God is so good. Lovely post.

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    1. Thank you Debi! It was really painful.

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  5. I cried hot tears reading this. I'm glad that the doctor said everything is fine. Still, SO HARD. :(
    Huge loves, Friend.

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    1. Thanks huge, Kristi! Well, he did not really say everything is fine.... will post about it soon and explain what the diagnosis is. xo

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  6. Oh how my heart feels for you. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

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    1. Thank you so much for your heartfelt comment, Amy!

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