Sunday, 9 December 2012

The snuggly side of sickness

Sunny is ill. Again. For the fourth time now since the end of September. He is very prone to infections so as soon as autumn is around the corner he gets sick very often.

Sunny has some issues with social interactions. He does not really like to cuddle or to get cuddled. He bears it for one or two seconds and then he escapes. He avoids eye contact whenever possible. When he gets hurt he does not want to be comforted. However, these are all things that I long for and sometimes it breaks my heart that he does not let me be the mom I want to be. That I am not allowed to follow my instincts and get the chance to be there for him when his knee hurts because he fell or that I cannot snuggle him more than a second and show him how much I love him. That he does not like to look at me.

When he was a newborn baby he only slept on my tummy at night for months on end. But as he got older we noticed that he preferred to sleep by himself more and more and that falling asleep became easier for him when he was alone and not surrounded by my husband or me. Today it is almost impossible to sleep with him in one bed as he immediately feels that it is time to play when I take him to my bed - no matter what time it is - and then sleep is the thing he is the least interested in. But as much as some parents want their kids out of their bed to finally have it for themselves again, sometimes I wish I could lie in bed together with him, hold him tight, feel has small, warm body against mine and his sweet breath in my face.

But when he gets sick and feels really miserable he turns into the biggest snuggler one can imagine. He wants to be carried around 24/7. We wants me to sing songs for him, to stroke his hair, hold him tight, to cradle him for hours on end, he wants to be as close as possible to me. This time is no exception. I am so very sorry for him when he is sick and suffers and feels so miserable. And there is nothing I want more than for him to be healthy and well. But I love that I get the chance to care for him the way I would like to do much more often. That I can finally be there for him and that he also needs me then, too. And my heart skipped a beat when I entered his room last night because he woke up crying and after I had comforted him he signed me that he wanted to come to my bed with me. So we spent the rest of the night together, me cuddling and comforting him and showing him all the love that I have to set aside for moments like these.



6 comments:

  1. Aw, poor Sunny, I'm sorry he's sick but I love that you got to snuggle him! That's wonderful. Tucker gets really snuggly, too, when he's sick. Hope he feels better and soak up those hugs while you are able to. :)

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  2. I had to laugh, but only because it sounds so much like me! Growing up, my Dad and my sister were VERY demonstrative and "huggy," which drove me NUTS! I'm the quick hug and a pat on the back type. And don't even get me started about being sick or injured. When I'm sick, I just want to sleep it off - injured, eh no big deal, it'll pass. Drives me crazy when others fawn over me or make a fuss out of it. I'd have to have a limb hanging off before going to a doctor. That said, for that once every three years or so when I'm feeling really crappy and needy, someone dang better well be nearby with lots of available hugs and fawning directed my way!! ;) [#TALU]

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    1. That made me laugh, Chris! Sounds exactly like my son! Tee hee!

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  3. I'm glad there is a perk to Sunny being sick- take advantage of every opportunity you can to snuggle him! It sounds like you really appreciate the times you have to be close and to comfort him. TALU

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    1. I really do, Stephanie, I really do.

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